3 Things That Are Proven To Make Your Relationship Great
There is certainly no such thing as a perfect relationship – indeed, the U.S. divorce rate is 2.9 per 1,000 people, meaning that over 112,000 marriages end in divorce every year.
While there's no such thing as a seamless partnership (and not every relationship ends in a happy marriage or bitter divorce) there are some things that are proven to help make it the best it can be – this article picks three that you can use to make your relationship great.
Open & positive communication between each other
First and foremost, you must learn how to connect properly with your partner at a deep level and the best way to go around doing this is simply talking intimately – through open and positive communication.
Communicating openly isn't about having conversations that make you feel happy or safe – at times these conversations may make you feel uncomfortable, as they're about revealing yourself to your partner, it may even cause arguments. When this happens, it's been proven that fighting over your differences is much less effective than celebrating the positives of being together.
Harvard graduate and psychology author, Shawn Achor addresses the need to focus on the positives in his book, The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work. In his text, Achor considers a group of participants separated into two groups – one that focused on the positives during their communication and one that was geared around the pairs trying to change the negative behavior of their partner. Achor explains that:
“When participants focused their relationship improvement attempts on changing the partner, individuals reported more negative improvement strategies, lower improvement success, and, in turn, more negative relationship evaluations… results suggest that targeting the partner may do more harm than good despite that relationship evaluations pivot on whether the partner produces change.”
If you find it tricky to speak openly and positively with your partner you might consider having relationship counseling – something that's proven to address the focus on negative behaviors. Many well-regarded organizations have looked at the proven benefits of seeking help by using counseling. Live Better has created an excellent guide to couples counseling and I recommend you read it by deciding if it's right for you and if so then what type is best for your relationship.
Using counseling doesn't say that your relationship is in trouble, rather that you can benefit from a little professional help (it's mature to admit this).
Alternatively, try doing an activity together and using that as an opportunity to communicate. A walk outside, a couple's bike ride, or just a dinner out — these get you out of the home and into a new environment in which you can communicate outside the home.
Using surprise to disrupt your routines
While you and your partner may be incredibly close, it is hard to deny that domestic life comes with certain essential but mundane routines, particularly if you're living together – there's nothing sexy about sorting out your gas bill. To bring the sexy back, you need to disrupt your routines by bringing the element of surprise back into your seduction techniques.
Health and wellness author, Tara Parker-Pope looks at the importance of surprise in good making your relationship great in her book, For Better: How the Surprising Science of Happy Couples Can Help Your Marriage Succeed. Parker-Pope comments on a study that was carried out in which exciting, surprise, nights were compared to pleasant, planned ones – one group of couples had surprise date nights and the other had planned ones.
The result of this study was that the couples who “had undertaken the ‘exciting' date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the ‘pleasant' date night group…” Thus, the study proved that the element of surprise is key to making your relationship great.
A simple way of battling the mundane responsibilities is to use creative disruption to keep things exciting. Now, this is a term that was born from natural disasters (such as earthquakes), but in relationships it can add a welcome jolt to your routine.
The way to use creative disruption (or, to break your routine is to organize specific nights to spend quality time together and try something new – the way you add disruption is by letting you or your partner pick what you're doing that evening and making the activity a surprise to the other.
Seeking help to make sure you maintain intimacy
Intimacy and closeness are terms are often considered interchangeable, but while the two are certainly similar and are often used in the same context, they're quite different from one another – and making sure you have enough of both is a surefire way to make your relationship great.
Intimacy is a deep emotional connection to the person themselves, and can sometimes feel strange. Why? Because it means scratching below the surface, exploring the parts of your mind and body that other people don't see. Physical intimacy underpins a great relationship, and sex is an important part of this.
Many men experience performance issues during sex — it is a common issue that affects lots of people. When left unaddressed, this can lead to distance forming in a relationship. However, men are often reluctant to confront this issue for fear of embarrassment.
But it's nothing to be ashamed about, and there are lots of ED treatments available, both over-the-counter and on prescription, that effectively deal with the issue. Tadalafil is one such treatment, used by countless couples to close that gap and enjoy a loving, active sex life.
Before embarking on a course of ED treatment, it's important to know how tadalafil works. Tadalafil only works if you are stimulated first, thus able to achieve an erection in the first place. It helps you sustain your erection so you can enjoy the intimacy and closeness that loving sex provides.
While you might be sexually attracted to your partner, something out of your control — anxiety or a health condition, for example — might prevent you from maintaining an erection. Tadalafil overcomes that issue so you can enjoy the intimacy that sex affords.
Closeness is a level of comfort you feel with someone – it's about feeling safe with them and (importantly) making them feel safe with you. While there are many different shades and compositions of closeness (it depends on the individuals), it's often a case of doing things together and breaking down barriers.
Taking a gym class with your partner is a great way to bring you closer together – it gives you a shared goal, provides an opportunity to push yourself through barriers (and lets you see each other at your sweaty worst!)
Love is one of the most powerful forces in the world, and it can be a force for good and bad. If you want to have a great relationship then you need to work at it and trying the three things I've covered in this article is the perfect place to start.