Negotiation Tactics for Project Managers
The following is another page or two from Nick Jenkins' A Primer on Project Management. It is a good overview of the concept of negotiation and what it entails when it comes to managing projects. His primer was distributed under the creative commons license and as such, the following is also subject to the conditions of the creative commons license.
Negotiations can be tricky for technical people, we tend to see the world as a black-and-white, binary environment. 'Techies' often believe that there is a right and wrong way to solve a problem, or that one technology or solution is the 'best' available. This is part of their drive for perfection but in truth there are many ways to solve a problem and each technology or solution has its strength and weaknesses.
Negotiation is the process of achieving consensus while avoiding conflict. Central to this is the understanding that the best solution to a problem is one which attracts the consensus of all those involved. A unilateral (binary) solution is by definition not the best solution since it alienates or disappoints someone. Finding the best solution will involve compromises and the project manager will be the fulcrum around which the discussions between different parties revolve.
Most people view discussions as a zero-sum-game. That is, in order to "win" or succeed, someone must "lose". For example a salesman might believe that he will "win" if he can convince someone to buy a product at a high price. This is a zero-sum attitude, the salesman has "won" and the customer has "lost".
A customer on the other hand might not care about the price and might be willing to pay it if the product has the right features. If the salesman can work out what the customer wants he might be able to sell him the right product. Further if a particular product doesn't have those features, the salesman might be able to drop the price or offer other incentives that will convince the customer to buy. If he achieves this then they both win.
This is the art of negotiation.
By understanding that problems can be broken down into a number of elements which, when handled separately, produce trade-offs by which you can achieve a "win/win" solution. This is a solution where both parties walk away happy. This avoids the dichotomy of a binary, yes-no problem and the situation where both parties hold equally strong views, resulting in conflict.
This requires a leap of faith. If you approach discussions with the idea that negotiation is some tricky way to beat people and get your own way, you will certainly fail. People are not stupid and most will be able to discern your intent regardless of your outward demeanor.
Negotiation must be undertaken from a basis of trust and if people feel you can't be trusted then it doesn't matter how clever your approach. Try it out for yourself. Approach a discussion with an open attitude and work through to a consensus. Afterwards evaluate how you feel about the solution; you may be surprised. If not, get a job as a used car salesman.